Letterina a Johnny Depp

Dear Johnny, but what cazz happened to you? You eri so bono, so affascinant, so frisk, so un pezzo de sorco…and now???

Now me sembri Renato Pozzetto con lo scorbuto. And i’m not talking about the panza, Johnny. Panza is okay. Italian women love panza!
I’m talking about doppio mento, capelli that you don’t lavi da like two anni…and what about your denti? I understand you are a mariuolo, a bad boy, a pirate of Mar Tirreno…but pig miseria, Johnny! ‘Na cazz di pulizia dentale, sometimes, proprio no?!
And, senti a me, if you vesti like “poro nonno style” it’s ancora peggio. It breaks women’s cuore. Their utero. Capisc? Without your giacche di pelle, it’s na cazzo de tragedia, Johnny!!!
You eri big sogno erotico, the fico ribelle who can salvare women from these rincoglioniti uomini italiani in mocassins and risvoltino!

Quelle are passate from “Our bonazzo Johnny in ‘Chocolat’ ” a “Johnny that s’è mangiato Chocolat, Willy Wonka and all the fabbrica”.

Never a joy…